Saturday, February 24, 2007
THIS JUST IN...
DICK CHENEY STILL ALIVE!
Admit it, you weren't sure there for a moment, were you?0 comments
But, all options remain on the table for ol' Richard B. Cheney, including Impeachment, perhaps a Black Box Prison cell in the Czech Republic, some rest home Brittney Spears might recommend or just simple, total insignificance.
Cheney Says All Options on Table for Iran
This pathetic old fool has become America's latest update of the old "Generalísimo Francisco Franco is still dead!" stories from SNL's first year.
He used to be so powerful, too. We used to quake at every utterance. Whenever he'd insist that the sun rose in the west, serious journalists nodded seriously. Headline editors used his quotes in banner headlines: CHENEY: 'THE EARTH IS FLAT!' And besotted Republicans would drive their SUVs off the end of the Earth into the oblivion of space.
Cable news operations would take his pronouncements (I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH HALIBURTON GETTING ALL THOSE NO-BID CONTRACTS FOR IRAQ... . OR ALASKA... . OR KUWAIT... . OR SAUDI ARABIA..., OR..., OR..., ALL THOSE OTHER PLACES! or WE HAVE CLEAR INTELLIGENCE THAT PROVES NANCY PELOSI IS OSAMA BIN LADIN'S MISTRESS!) as absolute gospel, and repeat them hour after hour, news cycle after news cycle.
Now, however, he's merely relegated to wandering from nutjob rally to nutjob rally in backwards states or even more-backwards countries, insisting that Saddam Hussein is alive and threatening the U.S. with imminent destruction with his vast nuclear arsenal.
He may still look fatter and redder in the face than ever, but you can see Dick deflating by the second.
posted by Gotham 12:32 PM
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