Tuesday, August 17, 2004
On a Beautiful Tuesday Morn...
Today is one of those perfect New York days of lore.2 comments
The sunlight is caressing each nook and every cranny of some of the most amazing architecture in the world.
It's a gorgeous 69 degrees, going up to perhaps 80. The normal sauna-like humidity of New York in August has broken and the air is sweet and clear.
And beautiful Gotham's politicians and her bureaucratic minions are starting to panic. Really panic.
So, what could be bad?
NY Times: New York City Lowering Its Sights for a Convention Boom
Yup.
The city's host committee and all the city's bureaucracy never thought that they'd be in a position to be fending off questions along the line of, "So, how big a financial bath is New York gonna take on this wingding?"
The numbers are starting to come in from Boston, and little beads of sweat are starting to pop up on the smartly clean-shaven upper lips of the RNC Convention Host Committee members.
Officials in Boston had said that the Democratic convention would pump $154 million into that city's economy, but it virtually shut down much of the city, strangling businesses that had hoped to profit from the influx. The Beacon Hill Institute, a research organization affiliated with Suffolk University in Boston, found that the convention brought in only $14.8 million, a tenth of what Boston officials had anticipated, though city officials dispute the study's findings, and final figures on hotel occupancy and the like have yet to be tallied. [GN's emphasis]
Hmmm.
Our guys are quoting $254 million extra for our coffers.
Those little beads of sweat seem to be getting larger.
It's now a safe bet to say that the majority of NYers want this little coronation ceremony to just go away and be over with. A sentiment I assume is shared by the honchos at the RNC. A frat party in the middle of 8 million hostile residents can't be the swell idea it seemed when they booked this shindig at a time George W. Bush's approval ratings were through the roof.
Like the L.A. Olympics in the '80s and the Democratic Convention in Boston last month, this event is causing a major segment of moderate- to better-heeled NYers to flee to their vacation homes, or basically to just get the hell out of town. Along with their millions of natively spent disposible dollars.
Yes, there will be a sizeable financial bump from this convention, but unfortunately for New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, it will be in the Hamptons, the Jersey Shore and the Adirondack Mountains.
These thousands of folks are being supplanted by only 50,000 Republican delegates—some of whom will be very well off and would not deign to leave the cushy confines of catered swank; they'll only see bits of NYC on their way to and from the airports.
One should assume that the bulk of the GOP revelers will be your basic homespun party faithful who are being given a trip to The Big City.
Assume that you will hear "Hey, Big Spender" from Sweet Charity played often in clubs around town that week. We can safely assume most of this drunken, evangelical corn-fed crowd won't get the joke.
The Host Committee fears these folks (as well as the hordes of journalists covering them) will do what all types of convention-goers do:
- Leave their families home to save money
- Double up on their hotel rooms to save money
- Scour the list of parties to scrouge all the free eats and booze they can ingest, rather than deal with the sticker shock of the basic NYC diet
- Twitter among themselves about the $14 pancakes one of them had yesterday when they actually ventured out "into New York" a block away
- Utilize all the freebies they can get their grubby little mitts on, from Broadway show tickets to the tons of "stuff" from retail stores' and manufacturers' giveaway promotions
- Without their families along, they'll look to each other for safety, comfort and camaraderie and just stay at their hotels and the convention with all its glitz, glamour and things to entertain them. It's a stretch to think that more than merely a handful of the GOP's intensely curious will break from the cocoon set up for them, and actually venture out to engage with "Real New Yorkers."
Which is just as well since "Real New Yorkers" are staunchly Democratic and hate Republicans both as a party per se and for what it has done to our fair city (remember, it was Republican Gerald Ford who gave us the headline in the New York Daily News, "Ford to NY: Drop Dead" and it's Republican George W. Bush who smeared the ashes of 2,000 NYers on himself, hugged a fireman then screwed us out of not only the $21 billion in relief aid he promised us during one of his famous 9/11 photo ops, but continues to do so in every budget he sends to Capitol Hill).
Besides, we'd probably just spit on them anyway. So, it's better they stay safe inside the Garden—although their having to clean spittle off their suits for four days straight would be a boon to the Dry Cleaning industry throughout Manhattan. Consider it a bipartisan action: Democrats helping the GOP support small business.
- Stay within the confines of the safe police bunker that's being set up for them.
Many of them will assume that, yes, NY has cleaned up, but will still be scared that we've swapped "Thugs from the South Bronx" for "Thugs from Saudi Arabia."
One glorious thing about New Yorkers is that we are resourceful. If Plan A doesn't work out so well, we don't shed tears, we just slide over to Plan B, smile, and hug It as our new best friend.
So, it seems more and more likely that Mayor Bloomberg will need to shift his focus from those deadbeats at the convention, and instead, look to the possibility of having the City embrace upwards to 500,000 to a 1,000,000 people for a Protest Demonstration Party.
50,000 weenies shuttling back and forth between the Garden and various hotel ballroom parties, on the hunt for already paid-for goodies for four days isn't going to help us any.
But A MILLION PEOPLE IN THE STREETS?!!!?
Now, THIS is something The City of New York can understand and embrace!
- A million people have to eat. With no access to the catered affairs, they'll wipe out every deli and restaurant in this city. Ka-ching!
- A million people have to use toilets. In NY, that means going into a restaurant or store. Not all, but many people feel the need to buy something in return for the hospitality. Ka-ching!
- A million people have to get around, covering wide areas to attend various demonstrations popping up all over town. The taxi industry will be delighted to ferry them around from protest to protest, since the GOPers will be ferried everywhere and tying up midtown, effectively killing the taxi trade for these four days. The MTA will also gain a massive fare boost for subways and buses. Ka-ching!
- A million people have to sleep somewhere. So all those hotel rooms that are going begging should jump on the phone to MoveOn, ACT, Not In Our Name and all the other protest organizers and start offering their best discount deals. It's found money. Ka-ching!
- A Progressive fashion surge. A million people from around the world means at least 600,000 women, most of whom have never been here before, and many of whom can be expected to succumb to shoe lust at some point during their four days here. Ka-ching!
- That leaves some 400,000 men, many with moderate means who will not be able to afford the tourist trap food prices in midtown Manhattan and will naturally seek more affordable fare further afield in the boro and in the other four boros as well. Ka-ching!
- With a million people expressing their American Privilege to protest and dissent, it's inevitable that there will be:
- Republican honchos who will want this "riff-raff" arrested and taken off the streets, and
- At least a couple hundred crazies who have a history of bad family problems and just want to wreck things whenever they're in a crowd greater than six.
Every demonstration I've been in since 1968 has had them, so we should just expect it this time as well. The media loves them. The coverage of all protests consists of pictures of fourteen assholes being clubbed instead of the 40,000 or 400,000 folks peacefully filling the streets for miles on end.
This means thousands of people will need a lawyer when the orders come down to clear the streets and the crazies get going and the NYPD, who'll most likely be fabulous to that point, overreact and lots of folks get caught up and beaten and wounded in the melee.
Good for the lawyers; good for the hospitals and doctors folks get taken to; good for the pharmacies; good for the insurance companies; good for New York City.
Ka-ching!
Ka-ching!
Ka-ching!
So, New York's new RNC Convention Host Committee banner should read:
NEW YORK WELCOMES THE RNC DEMONSTRATORS!
HAVE A GREAT TIME!
"Republicans, who? Yo, kid, come back when you've got some money to spend."
As Karl Malden put it so very well:
"The American Express Card. Don't leave home without it!"
posted by Gotham 1:01 PM
2 Comments:
A brilliant re-framing! I love it!
By 
oyster, at
August 17, 2004 1:09 PM
Thanks!
By Gotham, at
August 17, 2004 3:48 PM
