Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Government Waste
From: New York City0 comments
To: The Departments of Justice and Homeland Security
(with special focus on their respective New York offices)
Please shut up, and just go do your jobs.
And stay out of the papers until, and unless, you have a case to bring to court, a report of a plot that you've just broken up or a concrete threat where you can give us at least a few of the Who, What, When, Where, Why & How's of the situation. If you've got nothing, then I repeat: Shut up!
What we especially don't want to see is crap like this:
NY Daily News: FBI fears Qaeda suspects in city
Gosh. Who knew???
Well, no shit, Sherlock.
It took all of you four years to reach THIS conclusion?
NYC has rats and roaches, too. You left out that newsflash.
Pasquale D'Amuro, director of the FBI's New York office and a veteran terrorism investigator [sic], ... said the monitoring began long before this weekend's heightened alert was announced.
Oh.
And up 'til now, you've been OK being quiet about the fact you had nothing.
So now, the RNC Convention Circus is heading to town, with enough headlines to pass around to everybody, and now you decide to walk behind the Elephant with a broom?
You up for a job review, or something, D'Amuro? You think scaring the shit out of people when you've got nothing is gonna get you a raise?
Plus, citizens of New York, it seems D'Amuro isn't the only shining beacon in this office.
It's not clear whether the updates are from publicly available sources or from personal surveillance.
"The whole question is, how do we assess all of this?" said FBI counterterror director John Pistole.
Yo, Pistole! Why the hell are you asking US?!
You're supposed to be the professional cop here; we're just the working schlubs you're getting paid to protect. So, now you're telling us that you don't have a clue?
What? Are you guys deputizing the whole city now? You can't do it alone? Poor babies!
Your question is meant for serious pondering at your desk, pally, or at a conference table with guys like D'Amuro, not for splashing across the front of "New York's Hometown Paper!"
How much are we paying you guys, here?
My Lord! What incompetent schmucks!
Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge met yesterday at the Citigroup Center with security chiefs from the city's largest financial institutions and rejected suggestions that presidential election politics were behind the weekend's terror alert.
Simply put, Tom Ridge is lying.
Plus, if you think about it, the Citigroup Center isn't all that immediate a target if Ridge and a posse of corporate security chiefs are actually sitting in it. They're incompetent; not stupid.
He also dismissed the fact that much of the surveillance is several years old."
[snip]
"So I don't want anyone to disabuse themselves of the seriousness of this information simply because there are some reports that much of it is dated .... "
A-bugga-bugga! Oooooh, scary...
You're giving us no great faith in your department's investigative skills, here, Tom.
Your whole operation has become a laughingstock.
BTW, any luck in finding Amelia Erhardt's plane yet?
How about The Anthrax Guy?
Can your department even find a container ship in a U.S. port, let alone inspect one?
"We know that this is an organization, a terrorist organization, that does its homework," said Ridge.
As opposed to the Justice and Homeland Security Departments.
" .... This is a resilient organization that does its homework, and we just have to accept that reality."
Here, it's obvious he's talking about Karl Rove and Bush/Cheney '04—owners in perpetuity of the Universe and all things governmental.
Oh. BTW Tom, while you're having fun scaring us, where's our $21 billion 9/11 aid package?
And, also, have you written a check yet to Mayor Michael Bloomberg to cover all the NYPD's overtime costs your little ruse just incurred? You can just messenger it on over to City Hall.
Thanks.
Oh, yeah. And you be sure to call us if you boys get something.
posted by Gotham 1:12 PM
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