Thursday, May 27, 2004
The Boy Who Cried Wolf vs. The Boogeyman
"Be afraid! Be VERY afraid!0 comments
We beg of you. PLEASE! Be afraid!
Have you seen the poll numbers? It's the only shot we have left!"
"Aaaaa-OOOOOOoooo!"
-- Count Floyd Ashcroft
"A-BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA! OOOOH, SO SCARRRRRREY!"
Did you get all that?
We repeat:
"A-BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA! OOOOH, SO SCARRRRRREY!"
Scared yet, hunh?
"Time for another Monster Chiller Horror Theatre! Tonight's feature:"
CNN.com: FBI urges vigilance, says terrorists may change tactics
So might the Justice Department: They might actually arrest someone who was actually guilty of something.
"Credible intelligence from multiple sources indicates that al Qaeda plans to attempt an attack on the United States in the next few months," Ashcroft said. "This disturbing intelligence indicates al Qaeda's specific intention to hit the United States hard."
And this is different from the last three years, how?
Could Attorney General John Ashcroft be so busy not doing his job that he just got around to reading the Aug. 6, 2001 presidential briefing memo that was all the rage in March?
Actually, Ashcroft has found that there is credible intelligence that the poll numbers of President George W. Bush are in absolute free-fall on their way to the basement. So, it's time to pull a play out of the ol' playbook.
To crib Randi Rhodes' line from Air America:
The Bush/Cheney campaign slogan has become -- "Vote for me, OR DIE!!!!!!!"
But the intelligence -- gleaned from various U.S. intelligence agencies -- does not point to a specific attack plan, U.S. officials said.
Oh, I see... . This is merely a bulletin to let us know that our entire intelligence apparatus says, "I dunno." It's good to know that they all still have jobs and that their incomes have not been caught in Bush's economic cesspool.
The FBI has received more than 2,000 tips from the public in the 24 hours after a news conference asking for help in locating seven people Attorney General John Ashcroft called al Qaeda operatives.
"Many thanks for your help on locating those pictured below," the FBI Web site said Thursday. "Over 2,000 tips were sent by mid-afternoon today on tips.fbi.gov alone. Please keep them coming."
Officials could not provide the number of tips that came in phone calls.
Calls to numbers provided on the "Be on the Look Out" Web pages are being fielded by the Counterterrorism Watch office. Additional calls are being received by FBI field offices, a bureau official said.
"We consider the response promising and encouraging," said an FBI spokeswoman.
This is turning into a poor community theatre production of Arthur Miller's "The Crucible." Everyone finally has the opportunity to point a finger at all those people they don't like. Then, see them carted off, now that the administration has pissed all over Habeus Corpus.
Did your dry cleaner lose your buttons? Call it in: he's gotta be a terrorist.
That little dark-skinned girl short-change you at the Piggly-Wiggly? She's gotta be one of "them." Better call that in.
This is exactly the procedure we created and supported in Afghanistan to "gather intelligence" after we invaded. However, the U.S. merely acted as a handy conduit for old, nasty feud-settlement as scores of Afghans realized they could merely shout, "I accuse!" and have the U.S. cart off people, with which they've had long-standing feuds and disagreements, screaming off into the night, never to be seen again.
Ahhhh, I'm relieved to see that Ashcroft continues to inspire the very worst in the humanity around him. Consistency is key here.
"The face of al Qaeda may be changing," the FBI said. "It is possible al Qaeda will attempt to infiltrate young Middle Eastern extremists into America, as they did prior to September 11.
"Al Qaeda is a resilient and adaptable organization known for altering tactics in the face of new security measures."
"A-BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA! OOOOH, SO SCARRRRRREY!"
Are you scared yet?
No?
How about: "AAAAHHHHHHH! A-BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!"
It's like Ashcroft gets his newspapers delivered by boat. He's just a number of months behind the news cycle here.
According to the FBI bulletin, public statements by al Qaeda leaders suggest that plans for a U.S. attack are nearly complete, and that any of several upcoming high-profile events -- such as the G8 Summit in Sea Island, Georgia, the national political conventions this summer in Boston and New York, and the November presidential election -- were possible targets.
Again, these morons prove they have had no idea whatsoever of the Who, How, Why, Where or When of how Al-Qaeda operates.
Or of how a guerrilla war is fought.
This crowd is hanging on to the Cold War ideal of "Come out here, and fight like a Man!" Equals duking it out. Mano-a-mano. Like Manly Men.
And they'll lose -- not just because of their hubris, but for their sheer stupidity.
WE would attack at our main holidays. WE would attack our major symbols on days when everybody is watching, and therefore, fully prepared and armed. Hence, all the major hand-wringing in the newspapers as a holiday is approaching. As EVERY holiday approaches.
Ever see an attack on a U.S. holiday? Think hard, now...
It's just not the Al Qaeda M.O. But, then, these clowns are too arrogant to believe that an enemy might do something differently from how WE would do it.
Maybe Bush was really at the War College last week toborrow some bookstake a class. (Sorry, I forgot he doesn't read anything but stories about Goats.)
Remember anything particularly noteworthy about the second week of September until a group of Saudi Arabian maniacs slammed a couple of planes into the WTC and the Pentagon?
Didn't think so. Maybe your cousin's birthday, but, no, nothing in particular on the world stage.
Who starts wars at 8:30 a.m. on a beautiful and lazy, fall Tuesday morning? No one.
Exactly.
And since everything has been sealed up tight to protect ourselves, who would give ANY thought at all to BALI?
Didn't you have the same reaction when you heard the news?
BALI?
Who the hell would blow up BALI?
But that's exactly the point that Ashcroft is too stupid to adjust to: Al Qaeda strikes blows when you don't expect them, and where you wouldn't expect them and in ways you'd never have conceived of.
Who in their right mind could grasp the possibility of a few nut jobs quietly paddling up to the side of a LARGE AMERICAN WARSHIP in a dingy, smiling sweetly and blowing themselves to kingdom come, along with seventeen U.S. sailors, creating a giant hole in the side of the ship, almost sinking it?
This is the ground on which both the Justice Department and the Defense Department show their true incompetence. All law enforcement and legal system work is predicated on looking intently to find patterns in a suspect's behavior, in order to catch and convict the right bad guy.
So far, this bad guy is consistently committing crimes on Maple Lane, while sending you tapes, and everything. And all the cops are waiting for him over on Main Street, insisting that he'll hit there next, or at least, eventually. 'Cause that's where WE"D attack next!
This is how people lose their jobs.
While others lose their lives.
posted by Gotham 9:09 PM
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