Equity Stock Trader Alert!
Government subsidies don't always have to be in the form of cash!
The Support Anti-Terrorism by Fostering Effective Technology ("SAFETY") Act is part of the massive Homeland Security law passed by congress last year.
So, the hot new growth industry is now any company having the word "anti-terrorism" in its marketing materials or prospectus.
Happily, this is an even better weasel word than the old ad industry favorite, "helps" ("Helps build strong bodies 12 ways"; "Helps get your teeth whiter"; etc.).
"Anti-terrorism" is clearly this year's winner! No one wants a "terrorism" product or service, right?
"The act defines anti-terrorism products very broadly as any product, equipment, service or device 'designed, developed, modified or procured for the specific purpose of preventing, detecting, identifying or deterring acts of terrorism or limiting the harm such acts might otherwise cause.'
The act provides a variety of protections for companies whose products are designated by Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge."
Republicans! Why go to all of the trouble of legislating tort reform in a transparent attempt to save your corporate campaign contributors from themselves—only to leave yourself with election vulnerability?
No! Now, Tom Ridge will save our American economy from all those nasty court judgments.
"Under the act, suits arising out of terrorist acts cannot be brought in state courts, where some critics of tort law argue judges and juries are too favorable to plaintiffs and too generous with awards. Instead anyone wanting to sue the makers or sellers of such products would have to use the federal courts.
[Gotham Notes: Of course, "some critics of tort law" refers to CEOs of companies which consistently are convicted of flaunting laws and regulations.]
In addition, the act eliminates punitive damages—designed to punish guilty defendants—from such cases and expands the so-called 'government contractor defense' to anyone making or selling anti-terror equipment, even if their customers are all in the private sector."
This is custom-made for a Ford (keep those exploding Pintos on the road!—they can be "anti-terrorist" vehicles. Just bump a drone car into the back of it, and let the gas tank explode and fry those dirty terrorist bastards to a fair-thee-well) or an Exxon (the Exxon Valdez spill obviously was an "anti-terrorist" strategy, designed to deny those dirty bastards fuel for their car bombs).
This is a law whose time has come! Just ask one of Tom's favorites which was mentioned in Al Kamen's In the Loop (The Washington Post) in February:
"... nearly half—46 percent to be precise—of the duct tape sold in this country is manufactured by a company in Avon, Ohio. And the founder of that company, that would be Jack Kahl, gave how much to the Republican National Committee and other GOP committees in the 2000 election cycle? Would that be more than $100,000?
His son, John Kahl, who became CEO after his father stepped down shortly after the election, told CNBC last week that 'we're seeing a doubling and tripling of our sales, particularly in certain metro markets and around the coasts and borders.' The plant has 'gone to a 24/7 operation, which is about a 40 percent increase' over this time last year, Kahl said. The company had more than $300 million in sales in 2001."
Of course, when the chemical cloud seeps through your duct tape/plastic sheeting fortifications, and you all die, your survivers will be spared the unpleasant effort and expense of suing the Kahl family company or Polyken Technologies of Westwood, Massachusetts, another manufacturer of duct tape (and a unit of well connected Tyco Industries), since these companies will be fully protected under the SAFETY ACT.
Good country, America.
My Dinner with Yahweh
Just stumbled across Al Kamen's In the Loop of June 27 as well, which contains a couple of issues of note:
First—just as we've suspected over the past year or two—whether or not God speaks directly to George W. Bush, Shrub is clearly listening.
Before, it was just the Scotch that called to Bush. Now, it's the Lord. To quote George Carlin, "We all change; we all grow."
Of course, the assumption here is that God consulted with Karl Rove before issuing His edicts to Shrub about postponing the Middle East peace process to allow the administration to focus tightly on the upcoming elections. Obviously, more people will die in the meantime, but again we can only assume God and Mr. Rove see the bigger picture here.
The other item of note in this Kamen column is this from the EPA:
"Yesterday, [chief Christine Todd] Whitman said farewell to EPA employees during a sentimental reception and photo session at the agency's headquarters. Her immediate plans include a trip to Cambodia to observe the elections, a family vacation to North Carolina and some possible college speaking engagements later this year."
Cambodia? To observe the elections? Are they having that same pesky hanging chad problem we've had?
And couldn't she find a nice, quiet, unpolluted stretch of beach and boardwalk along the Jersey Shore to spend her vacation on?
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posted by Gotham 2:25 PM
